Amoral - Prologue

Prologue; Shenandoah

I hate Momma. Hate her more than anything. I hate that woman. 

Maymee did something bad again. This time she she broke a vase and blamed it on me! What's worse, Momma believed her! So I sit here in the corner with tears falling from my blue-grey eyes. It's wasn't me! Sheesh, why doesn't anyone believe me? No one ever believes me, except for Maudie, who comforts me on how much of a jerk Maymee is.

"Stop talking to me! I'll get in trouble!!! Momma will make me sit here longer!"

"Come on, it's Maymee's fault. You shouldn't have to! Get up and protest!" she yelled at me, she was very protective of me and scolded anyone who was rude to me. I love her very much, she is seventeen, way older than me! She's my big sister! 

"Mary Ocean Hargrave! I said to sit in the corner and be quiet!" my Momma yelled at me in that voice again. I hated that voice. Hated it. Hated it. Hated it. Why can't she just shut up?

"Momma, it wasn't my fault!!! Maudie was talkin' to me, and you said to always answer people." I said matter-of-factly. It was true. So please. Just shut up. Go away. I hate it. I hate you. Momma gave one of those huge sighs grown-ups get when they're upset.

"No. There is no Maudie. There is no Maymee. There is no Rhoda. So just stop. This isn't playtime!" Momma always said that when she was angry. No. No. No. It wasn't true. Shut up. Maudie is right beside me! Or... She was. She must have run off when Momma came in. No one really liked my Momma. 

I gave a glare under my long yellow bangs covering my face. I hated Momma. Or, maybe that was a lie. I didn't know what to think of her. Sometimes she's very nice and gets me candy, but... Sometimes she yells really loud and hurts my ears. 

She scares me a lot. She scares everyone. One time she scared Tacita so badly, she went away for a few days. Everyone was so worried! It turns out she was hiding in the neighbors tree house. 

I suddenly felt Hyacinth speak through me again. I didn't necessarily enjoy it when one of them took over me. Sometimes they said very mean things, or just things that I wouldn't normally say. 

"Oh shut up, bitch." 'I' said quietly and sat in the corner again. Hyacinth was rather keen on saying the bad words. I hated them, but she insisted that it was good, and that it helped get out what you thought of people.  

"What did you say!? Mary! Rrrr...." she growled, frustrated, it seems and just stomped away. I could see her crying a bit, the shaking of her shoulders wracking her entire body. She deserved it. For all this. It's all her fault. If she hadn't been so difficult, things didn't have to come to this. A side of me felt bad about being so horrible to her. I ignored it. I didn't care anymore.

I walked back to my room, at the end of the hall in our small apartment. I'm sure Momma will tell Daddy what happened when he gets home. I hate him more. He doesn't stop yelling, and sometimes shakes me all over asking such silly questions that are obviously none of his business since he wasn't there. I sat on my bed, staring out the window.

It was grey outside. It hadn't rained for a while now, but the ground was still wet from a previous shower. Everything seemed monochromic. The world was grey. I hated this world. This ugly world. Such horrible people living in it. 

"Come on, everything's gonna be fine." Hyacinth said, like it was nothing. It was true. This happened about once every two days or so. Very often, to say the least. I didn't answer. I knew it would be 'fine' in a sense, but I hated it. Absolutely hated it. Fighting with her. Everybody usually tried to protect me, but sometimes.... I didn't want that.

"Don't. Just shut up, Hyacinth. No one wants to hear you." Maudie complained, gaining just a sour look from the one she was talking too. They didn't really get along, ever. I could hear their arguing continue, though I didn't listen to the pointless reasons that flooded from their mouths. 

I laid down on my bed, staring at the wall. I noticed the clock read six-thirty, dinner was in twenty minutes. I didn't want it anyway. I wasn't hungry after this, not like Momma would want to give me any, anyway. My sister would eat it all anyway. Even if she was only three, she ate a lot. It wouldn't surprise me if she was huge by the time she was my age. Unlike her, I was lean, although short for my age, smart too. Maudie learned a lot from school, or so she said, so I learned everything from her. No one ever bothered to teach me anything, besides my thirteen friends. Although most were either the same age or younger than me. 

 After every argument, I think the same thing. I want to leave. I don't want to be here anymore. I hate this place. I just want to go somewhere to be happy. I sighed, like I always did when deep thinking. I soon came face to face with Thyme, the slightly older (by two years) girl with not just a strange name, but a strange way to talk as well.

"Is something troubling thou?" at first, I would laugh whenever she said anything. I admit, it's still hilarious, but I've learned to hold it in. I smiled a bit when she asked me and simply replied-

"No.... No I'm fine. Thanks though, Thyme." I answered, though it was clear in my voice I was lying about being fine. I wasn't, but Thyme smiled anyway and walked over next to Rose, who was sitting on the floor drawing with what looked like a red marker. She saw Thyme speak as she sat down, making Rose look up and laugh at her. Although I was unsure if she laughed at something Thyme said or just her speaking itself. 

The talking became slurred and everything became blurry. I slowly closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me. I was happy when the darkness enveloped me. Just happy.

                                                          *~*~*

I awoke to the sound of my mother yelling. At first I hadn't realized it was her, just the sound of a loud voice in the distance. Turns out it was my mother yelling at me to "get my butt in the living room". I looked at the clock, only fifteen minutes had passed. I slowly got up and yawned. I could see everyone else looked surprised and worried. Tacita hid behind Maudie, her hair hiding her eyes like always. I walked down the hall and turned right into the family room. Momma was standing with Daddy and  Joni, my little sister, was sitting on the couch. 

"Mary! I have told you to stop talking to your mother this way! What the hell is wrong with you!?" I was scared. He scared me. I shivered, not knowing what to say. He was much bigger, much stronger. 

"I d-don't know...." I stuttered, tears threatened to fall down my cheeks. He gave me a glare before turning back to Momma.

"She needs to go see a doctor. I told you, Kyrie! That child has something wrong." Momma nodded and continued a conversation with him. I hated the doctor. I hated it. I refuse to go. I refuse! They can't make me! They can't.... No.... No....

"I hate you! I hate you both! Go and rot! Hate you hate you hate you!!!" I screamed. I meant it, too. Before I could see their reactions I ran down the hall to my room and slammed the door, the whole house vibrating. I could hear Joni start to cry and Daddy cuss. I sat against the door and begin to cry. I noticed everyone start to walk up and sit near me.

Tacita leaned against my right shoulder, and Rhoda put her arm on my other. I felt so sad, but so happy and blessed to have such wonderful friends. I loved them so much. Even if they fought each other sometimes... We all only had each other. I liked it that way, and I'm sure everyone else did, too. 

I was also worried that everyone was going to try to rip us apart. I don't want to leave them... Why can't we just be happy? Dang it... Why? It was that night I decided. 

I decided to run away.